A French Rock Concert

The interesting things that I find myself doing while living in Hanoi.

Meeting the Future In-Laws

I went to Vinh, a city about 5 and half hours south of Hanoi, to meet the future in-laws. Fortunately, they weren’t mine. My good friend, Ngan, asked me to be there with her for the moral support as she traveled to meet the family of her boyfriend. This visit is part of the engagement process of every Vietnamese couple. This meeting determines whether the parents will allow the relationship to continue or force it to stop so there is a lot of pressure.

As we entered the house, I became the main attraction…like a special freak show. While the mom and granny caressed my body to see whether or not it felt the same as theirs, Ngan charmed the rest of the family. She was great and they would be insane not to have been impressed by her. I was glad that I could be there for such an important event in my friend’s life and now we have another special memory to reminisce on later in life.

Toto, I'm Not in Hanoi Anymore

Some things that have surprised me on my travel to the South
1. The people in general are friendlier. There seems to be more laughing and smiling and they are always interested in just talking with you...even if you aren't buying anything from them.
2. Lotteria and KFC, fast food restaurants are all over the place. Its actually a little sad because the sidewalk cafe/restaurant, that became my parent's favorite when they came to visit, no longer exists but has been replaced by a large two-story Lotteria.
3. You can get a crazy looking sunburn when you ride on the back of a motorbike during the noon hour. I have a sunburn on half of my right knee and a strange strip on my left shoulder (I was wearing a skirt so sitting side-saddle).
4. Beware of the area behind the bus stop because it is a popular place for male urination...if only I had known prior....
5. There are men in uniform that help foreigners cross the busy roads!

The Quote of the Week

Tommy...yes, this would be a student who wanted to have an English name reflecting his strong resemblance to Tom Cruise. Tommy was in high school when I was teaching in Quy Nhon and is now studying at a university in Ho Chi Minh City. He is like a younger brother to me in many ways. However, he is super intense and has wanted to spend every waking hour with me since my plane landed in Ho Chi Minh City six days ago. I was touched to go to his small room where he lives and see pictures of me from when I lived in Quy Nhon.

I have the quote of not only the week but could be of the year. As I was riding on the back of his motorbike, Tommy says: "Do you think I'm so dark now?" I replied, that I hadn't really noticed. He then explained that when he returns to Quy Nhon everyone comments about how dark his skin is. "Yes, it is okay because my dark skin shows I'm stronger now. I'm strong because I live outside of my house without my parents (His parents live in Quy Nhon so he lives alone in HCMC). "I once was a young princess but now I'm a man!" Of course, he meant to say that he was like a young prince, or that he was naive and childlike.

Sometimes my life slows down a bit and I feel guilty for not being more productive and then I over commit and I’m frustrated because I can not give my all or my best to what I have committed to. It is a vicious cycle. In all reality, it is my relationships that I want to make sure do not get the shaft. I thought I had learned this lesson before, but I find myself in the same place over and over again.

This past month has been packed with a variety of things—special seminars to teach, visitors from Hope to evaluate my situation, the return of my roommate (after almost 2 months of being away), dates and pampering from my favorite Puerto Rican at the US Embassy, another “Les Runaways” performance, Easter games and activities, my doctorate research proposal being accepted at the University of Melbourne, and the list goes on.

Pictures are of my friend Ngan and I, Face painting at Easter, and Jose and Scot working the craft booth.

A Trip to Bac Ninh

I just returned from a visit to Bac Ninh, a province near Hanoi. It is the hometown of the Dean of my department. He invited me to go with him to see his house and enjoy the fresh air of the countryside. He conveniently asked a man with a car (very few people own cars here) to come with us…and meet the “available” American teacher. I had the longest, most awkward time of my life. Since the Dean needed to take care of “family business,” he had this guy show me some of the sites of Bac Ninh. With his broken English, he tried to point out some different sites in addition to confessing his undying love for me. He kept buying me little gifts, trying to hold my hand, and asking what he must do to be my boyfriend. Awkward! I didn’t tell him that he needed to grow about a foot taller, learn English, and tweeze his fountain-o-sprout facial hairs that grew from his chin and neck. You gotta give it to the guy for having the courage, but when I was the last person to be dropped off (the lone drive from the Dean’s house to mine was supposed to take 20 minutes but took an hour because he stopped different places to buy me flowers and take his sweet time because “he didn’t want the time to end”), I wasn’t his biggest fan.

Though the creepy guy was not so fun, Bac Ninh was wonderful to visit. The pictures are from the temple of the Ly Dynasty and then a picture with the Dean.

The Power of Gesture

In my classes, I require the students to give professional business presentations, in which they must include a visual aid. Last Wednesday, a student was presenting and after a comment made by a classmate, he decided to respond by using, what he thought was a universal gesture for you’re lying, and flipped him off. There are days when I feel like I’m not really getting through to my students. I guess I can feel confident that the students who complete my course can use effective visual aids.

I was driving my motorbike with Ngan, my Vietnamese friend, and as I began to turn into the parking lot for the restaurant that we were going to, they pointed me to the other side of the road because there was no room. In the midst of traffic, I had to abandon my first thought to turn left, stop, and move to the right. Well, I obviously ticked off some guy behind me and all I heard was something, something, “Tay” (which is the word for Westerner). He stuck his fist in the air at me. However, it made me laugh because though he was trying to gesture that he was mad and would like to punch me for my bad driving skills, he had his thumb sticking up, which to me communicated, “Yeah, thumbs up, you’re okay!” I was able to assure Ngan that was what he really meant.

St. Patrick's Day

Our band performed at an Irish Pub for St. Patty's Day and though I was sick with a cold and we had some technical problems, it turned out to be okay. The place was packed with tourists, so few were there to actually see the band but were just out celebrating. However, fun was had by all. I was able to break it down with my egg shaker...so what else could the night require?

Yankee

It seems that as of recent I continue to run into Australians wherever I go. I find myself in situations where I’m the only American in a crowd of Aussies. No complaints, though, as everyone I have met thus far have been great and a lot of fun. Maybe it is just preparing me for studying there, if I decide to go that route. On a train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai, half of my section on the train consisted of Aussies. I became endearingly known as their “Little Yankee Friend.” I joined a group of middle-aged men for a beer in the dinning car because they wouldn’t take no for an answer…and though I don’t really like the taste of beer, I decided to be a trooper and down one for the boys. One of the men had lived in Southern Vietnam as a project manager for an engineering company. We shared our woes mixed with our fascination with Vietnam.

Later when I went back to my compartment, next to me was a guy who had a strange mixture of an American and Australian accent. He would say, “I reckon” and talk about what he did after “uni” (college). His story is rather interesting. He is from Boston but immigrated to Australia a couple years ago and now is a tomato farmer in a rural area in Northern Australia. I was intrigued how a guy from Boston ended up in Australia as a tomato farmer and so he kept me entertained by his story for a good hour. I’ve told him that I’d come and pick some tomatoes for him if I ever make it to Australia. It is not everyday that you meet an Australian tomato farmer from Boston.

Barracuda Bar--February 25th

Comfort in My Own Culture?

It has been a stretching few weeks…stolen motorbike, small accident, and visa issues, but I can still laugh at the strange situations that I find myself. I found out on Thursday evening that the university didn’t know how to renew my visa that expires on Monday so I must go to Thailand in a few days so that I can renew my visa in Bangkok. I was feeling a bit confused and wondering what in the world I was doing here. I craved for the comfort of my own culture at which seemed to be the only thing that made sense. I recently became a member of the American Chamber of Commerce in Hanoi in order to network with American businesses in Vietnam to help provide connections for our students completing their MBA. After finding out about my visa on Thursday night, I rushed over to a “Happy Hour” event for new members. A nice hotel, wine, and professional business people, I thought this could be helpful and an escape from the cultural frustration I was experiencing. I had just finished teaching, so I did a make shift “freshening up” session in the small teaching office mirror, hopped on my Dream II motorbike, and made my way to one of the big hotels in Hanoi. I walked into a room filled with men in black suits, chatting with a glass of wine in one hand and handing out their business cards with another. I felt absolutely out of my comfort zone. I dropped off my coat and Nazi bomber helmet with the concierge, straightened out my skirt and took a few deep breaths. I approached a group of people and began in on the small talk. A Vietnamese man who was probably my age and didn’t know anyone either kept on a good conversation and I was relieved that I wasn’t alone. Later, I was talking with the director of an international bank and he was interested in helping provide internships for my students, so I was really excited. We then began talking about the education system (the one subject that I actually know about in Vietnam) and an older, balding, intoxicated man interrupted our conversation as he stood inches away from me, locked in eye contact, and handed me his card. The man I was talking with was a bit embarrassed, as the newcomer didn’t acknowledge him at all, so he quickly ended his conversation with me and left. This man, a lawyer from Pennsylvania, began talking with me and I tried to listen politely. He talked about his wife and how everyone thinks he needs to get a mistress. As it was getting late, I tried to excuse myself. He grabbed my arm and said, “If you ever want to mess around, just give me a call.” I couldn’t believe it. My first thought was, “Are you serious, grandpa?” and my second was, “Do I look like I’m the kind of girl who would be interested…that maybe I was only invited to this meeting for this very purpose?” I responded by saying, “Oh don’t worry, you don’t need me. There are plenty of Karaoke bars for that,” and I turned and walked away. So I left with better feelings of Vietnam (which I needed due to the past events) and a reminder that my culture isn’t always the haven that I seek.

Baile Baile Gringita

The Sheraton, one of the more expensive hotels in Hanoi, offers salsa dancing on Saturday nights. I went with some of my Vietnamese friends to experience the salsa nightlife in Hanoi. I knew not to get my hopes up, but all in all, I ended up having a great time. I was able to get a lot of dancing in as there were one or two Vietnamese “dance instructors” who were good dancers. It was a bit strange to have so many spectators watching as most preferred to watch rather than dance. To top off the night, we couldn’t end things until a group dance session of the Macarena was in order. Wow…only in Hanoi.

Mrs. Cleaver

This weekend, I had 11 junior highers from the international community at my house for an American breakfast and games. It is great to have a kitchen now and the ability to cook…it is my time to show people how domestic I truly am. Mrs. Cleaver by day and rock star by night…I think I like it. The picture attempts to capture the game, “Human Musical Chairs.”

Kin Long: A child after my own heart

Tet Holiday (Lunar New Year)

Tet Holiday (the Vietnamese New Year celebration according to the Lunar calendar) is three days long. This year, it began on the 29th of January. I had the chance to spend the first day of Tet with Tram and some of the other Vietnamese students in Garden Grove ("Little Saigon" in California), hop on a plane that night for an 18 hour flight to Vietnam, and have a traditional Tet meal with Tram's family in Hanoi on my arrival. It was a whirlwind but wonderful to be able to take part in the festivities both in the States and in Vietnam.




In "Little Saigon," we went to a mall that looks a great deal like one of the shopping centers in Hanoi...same products and everything is in Vietnamese. They had the traditional drums and dragon dance and several women dressed up in ao dai (the traditional Vietnamese dress). There was a big festival that night but by the time we found parking, it was time for me to leave for the airport to catch my flight to Hanoi.



Tram's family was waiting for me at the airport...what a warm welcome. I was able to have a few hours to unpack and receive a few phone calls and visits from students who wanted to wish me "many successes and beauty more and more" before going over to have a special Tet meal with Tram's family and my friend, Scot, from Canada. Tram's family told me that it was extra special to not only to have two foreigners share a Tet meal with them, but who represented two different countries. It was a great evening and I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to spend the holiday with them.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Southern California: 2 to 1

When I first arrived in California, I wasn’t all that impressed. However, I’ve come to appreciate many things about Southern California. If you take out the traffic and the cultural obsession with all that is artificial…relationally and physically…it is actually a great place. Thus, California receives a “Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Southern California” spot on my blog.

#1: My friends. I have a great group of friends that forgive me for my transient lifestyle, maximize on the time I do have when I'm around, and encourage me on as I begin my next adventure.


#2: My international students: Where can my love for Karaoke and Dance Dance Revolution thrive...among the international student population! I love teaching, but more than that, I love what they give back to me in cultural understanding.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Southern California: 5 to 3

#3: My ELI friends. The above picture is of Liz and Zack, who used to teach in Hanoi. Southern California has become the home of others who taught with ELI in Vietnam and China, such as Peter, Amy, Jack, Jason, Lisa, Jamaica, and Brian...with our honarary guest, Mike.
#4: Our weekly coffee nights. When I first came to CA last year, a time was set to meet friends for coffee each week. We began meeting at a coffee shop in between LA and Orange County so that my friends from Pasadena and Azusa could meet up with the rest of us from Orange County. It was a source of community and I missed it when I went back to Vietnam. During these few weeks that I have been here, the tradition has been re-established and so I have been refreshed by their friendship.
#5: Diversity. With my love of Asia and South America, Southern California is a great blend of both.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Southern California: 10 to 6

#6: Co-workers at Hope. I have a great sense of community with my friends at work. I’ve missed them and it has been so good to catch up. They continue to be a great encouragement.
#7: Farmer’s Markets and Fruit Trees. When you can just pick fresh oranges and lemons off of your tree, it makes life seem so much simpler.
#8: Granny’s Beach House in Laguna. Lisa’s grandma has a beach house that we frequented when I lived here and are presently taking advantage of. There is nothing like falling asleep to the sound of waves and being able to step off your porch and walk along the beach.
#9: The Outdoor Activities. You have the beach to the west and the mountains to the east. I’ll never forget the time I went kayaking with Lisa, Josh, and Katie near Newport Beach. Good times were had by all…it was a time to show off my biceps...as intimidating as they are.

#10: The Weather. You got to love being able to eat lunch outside on a January day, soaking up the sun and enjoying 80 degree weather.

My two weeks in Colorado have been busy…or rather, full. I differentiate between busy and full because though these weeks have been packed with seeing family and friends, I’m not leaving drained but filled. Alfred Tennyson said, “I am a part of all that I have met.” My family, friends, students, and even the people that have come into my life for a brief period of time, continue to shape who I am and expand my outlook on the world.

On a less serious note…below are some pictures of family and friends. Some probably need explanations, but I’ll just let you use your imaginations.