A Blood Drinkin', Honda Dream Drivin' Diva

The weather in Hanoi is cooling off, providing a remedy to the common ailment faced by many of us here… “chronic sweating.” Other big news is that I’m now working the streets…not like you may think…but as I maneuver my way through the crowded-no-rules-I’m-lucky-if-I-survive traffic. I have a motorbike (the infamous Honda Dream) and I’m as bad as ever. I love it because it allows me more freedom and is always a source of adventure. I received one of the best compliments from the Dean of the English department the other day, who said, “You are like one of us and I love it because we can take you everywhere we go.” This was said after I ate blood pudding, which came after the boiled duck that you eat with the skin and tendons attached. Being the only foreign teacher at the university, I’m invited to about every eating event and because I want to show respect and bridge the cultural gaps, I have “immersed” myself into each experience. My steam is running out a bit but I feel like I have crossed over many cultural barriers and am now seen as truly part of their community. As many of you know, I’m now singing for an expat band with 4 guys who are from the States, Canada, France, and Australia. I’ve been doing some low-key stuff with one of the guitarists at a small tavern in the Old French Quarter of Hanoi on Saturday nights. The audience? Mostly older men from the UK who are regulars at this little pub. The fun times just keep on coming!

Do Men Hate Their Wives In America?

As a young, female in Vietnam, I have found it to be quite interesting. I'm usually in the company of men...on occassion with a few women who are secretaries or assistants. I'm treated differently then most women in Vietnam, and it is difficult for me to see the fairness in it. It makes me feel strange when my friend Phuong is asked to make me coffee in the morning or take care of minial things for me. I should be doing it for her because of all the kindness she has shown me! Now not all share the same ideas regarding women. Dr. Dan, the Dean that I work with, treats his assistants as an important part of the team.

My life is filled with many special lunch and dinner meetings...the food and brandy wine are never ending. In one meeting, I was asked by a group of men if American husbands hate their wives as husbands in Vietnam do. I didn't know how to answer that one exactly. My response was that marriage is difficult in all cultures. Unfortunately, many Westerners resort to divorce as the answer to their problems, making things worse in the end. I realized how easy it is for me to look at another culture and deem things as "unfair" or as a social injustice, all the while my own culture boasts its own.

A Home--A location or a community?

Ngan, is one of my dearest friends. She was a fourth-year student at Quy Nhon University when I taught there 3 years ago. She was my first real friend in Vietnam and was my language tutor and cultural informant those first few months. Ngan and I both moved to Hanoi from Quy Nhon and were able to experience it together. Most people thought she was crazy to move to the North, but I was able to see her develop and thrive in her new surroundings. We only had each other during that time and I have some very sweet memories that I will always hold dear. When I left for the States, she took it the hardest. Friends and family in Vietnam don’t leave each other because the loyalty to stay together is so important. So when she heard that I was coming back, it was something very special for the both of us. She is now working for a Canadian company as an interpreter/secretary, sending home half of her paycheck to her family who lives in a rural area in the South-Central region (about 20 hours by train), and supporting two of her siblings who she invited to live with her in Hanoi to go to university. She is an amazing person. Last weekend, I went to her house for dinner. It was so exciting to see her have a place of her own (rented, of course)…though it is only a bedroom, shared by three, and a little cement square of a kitchen, it is more of a home than many places I’ve been. I enjoyed dinner (a 6 hour event) and the company of Ngan, her sister, brother, and boyfriend. We laughed, ate, and enjoyed being together. Now that is living a life of meaning.

Something Unexpected

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will always get “foreigner” prices. Even though I speak some Vietnamese and some may realize that I’m here teaching, I live downtown where all the tourist spend their time and I become just another foreigner who deserves to pay two to four times the regular price. I can spend my time being frustrated or pondering the American value of equality…or just take it as it is. Well, today I was pleasantly surprised. I went to buy one of my favorite desserts, “che,” which is a sweetened bean dessert that is sold in little Tupperware bowels on the side of the street, and the lady who has consistently charged me 4.000 VND, charged me only 2.000 VND today. Now the 2.000 VND discount is equivalent to about 15 cents, so it has nothing to do with the money but that the woman treated me as one of her own. Today is going to be a good day.

Meals on Wheels

A Good Couple?

Crash & Burn

Well, some people leave their heart in Hanoi…I left the skin of my arm. I was in my first traffic accident in Vietnam….which is a surprise that I’m just now getting into my first one after living in the crazy traffic all these years. I was just riding my bike, minding my own business, when some guy on a motorbike came barreling down the road and ran into me, making the bike and myself slide across the road. Luckily, it was not that bad and I just have a bit of road burn on the top of my left arm and elbow. It was a bit of a shock, especially as the guy rode off and a big crowd of Vietnamese crowded around the American girl laying on the road. I got up, flashed a smile, and tried to get out of the middle of the road. Some woman who was selling lottery tickets scotch taped a Kleenex to my bleeding elbow and I got on my bike and headed back home. I had planned to visit a friend, but I decided that I’d just go back to the guesthouse. I was a bit sore and was trying to muster up all the strength I had not to cry. It wasn’t because of the physical pain but the wave of loneliness that hit me as I made my way back feeling so distant and strange in my surroundings. However, all was remedied after I went out with a Vietnamese friend of mine that evening and we walked through the night market. The liveliness of the city reminded me that this is going to be a great adventure…even if I must endure a few cuts and bruises in the process.