Barracuda Bar--February 25th

Comfort in My Own Culture?

It has been a stretching few weeks…stolen motorbike, small accident, and visa issues, but I can still laugh at the strange situations that I find myself. I found out on Thursday evening that the university didn’t know how to renew my visa that expires on Monday so I must go to Thailand in a few days so that I can renew my visa in Bangkok. I was feeling a bit confused and wondering what in the world I was doing here. I craved for the comfort of my own culture at which seemed to be the only thing that made sense. I recently became a member of the American Chamber of Commerce in Hanoi in order to network with American businesses in Vietnam to help provide connections for our students completing their MBA. After finding out about my visa on Thursday night, I rushed over to a “Happy Hour” event for new members. A nice hotel, wine, and professional business people, I thought this could be helpful and an escape from the cultural frustration I was experiencing. I had just finished teaching, so I did a make shift “freshening up” session in the small teaching office mirror, hopped on my Dream II motorbike, and made my way to one of the big hotels in Hanoi. I walked into a room filled with men in black suits, chatting with a glass of wine in one hand and handing out their business cards with another. I felt absolutely out of my comfort zone. I dropped off my coat and Nazi bomber helmet with the concierge, straightened out my skirt and took a few deep breaths. I approached a group of people and began in on the small talk. A Vietnamese man who was probably my age and didn’t know anyone either kept on a good conversation and I was relieved that I wasn’t alone. Later, I was talking with the director of an international bank and he was interested in helping provide internships for my students, so I was really excited. We then began talking about the education system (the one subject that I actually know about in Vietnam) and an older, balding, intoxicated man interrupted our conversation as he stood inches away from me, locked in eye contact, and handed me his card. The man I was talking with was a bit embarrassed, as the newcomer didn’t acknowledge him at all, so he quickly ended his conversation with me and left. This man, a lawyer from Pennsylvania, began talking with me and I tried to listen politely. He talked about his wife and how everyone thinks he needs to get a mistress. As it was getting late, I tried to excuse myself. He grabbed my arm and said, “If you ever want to mess around, just give me a call.” I couldn’t believe it. My first thought was, “Are you serious, grandpa?” and my second was, “Do I look like I’m the kind of girl who would be interested…that maybe I was only invited to this meeting for this very purpose?” I responded by saying, “Oh don’t worry, you don’t need me. There are plenty of Karaoke bars for that,” and I turned and walked away. So I left with better feelings of Vietnam (which I needed due to the past events) and a reminder that my culture isn’t always the haven that I seek.

Baile Baile Gringita

The Sheraton, one of the more expensive hotels in Hanoi, offers salsa dancing on Saturday nights. I went with some of my Vietnamese friends to experience the salsa nightlife in Hanoi. I knew not to get my hopes up, but all in all, I ended up having a great time. I was able to get a lot of dancing in as there were one or two Vietnamese “dance instructors” who were good dancers. It was a bit strange to have so many spectators watching as most preferred to watch rather than dance. To top off the night, we couldn’t end things until a group dance session of the Macarena was in order. Wow…only in Hanoi.

Mrs. Cleaver

This weekend, I had 11 junior highers from the international community at my house for an American breakfast and games. It is great to have a kitchen now and the ability to cook…it is my time to show people how domestic I truly am. Mrs. Cleaver by day and rock star by night…I think I like it. The picture attempts to capture the game, “Human Musical Chairs.”

Kin Long: A child after my own heart

Tet Holiday (Lunar New Year)

Tet Holiday (the Vietnamese New Year celebration according to the Lunar calendar) is three days long. This year, it began on the 29th of January. I had the chance to spend the first day of Tet with Tram and some of the other Vietnamese students in Garden Grove ("Little Saigon" in California), hop on a plane that night for an 18 hour flight to Vietnam, and have a traditional Tet meal with Tram's family in Hanoi on my arrival. It was a whirlwind but wonderful to be able to take part in the festivities both in the States and in Vietnam.




In "Little Saigon," we went to a mall that looks a great deal like one of the shopping centers in Hanoi...same products and everything is in Vietnamese. They had the traditional drums and dragon dance and several women dressed up in ao dai (the traditional Vietnamese dress). There was a big festival that night but by the time we found parking, it was time for me to leave for the airport to catch my flight to Hanoi.



Tram's family was waiting for me at the airport...what a warm welcome. I was able to have a few hours to unpack and receive a few phone calls and visits from students who wanted to wish me "many successes and beauty more and more" before going over to have a special Tet meal with Tram's family and my friend, Scot, from Canada. Tram's family told me that it was extra special to not only to have two foreigners share a Tet meal with them, but who represented two different countries. It was a great evening and I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to spend the holiday with them.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Southern California: 2 to 1

When I first arrived in California, I wasn’t all that impressed. However, I’ve come to appreciate many things about Southern California. If you take out the traffic and the cultural obsession with all that is artificial…relationally and physically…it is actually a great place. Thus, California receives a “Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Southern California” spot on my blog.

#1: My friends. I have a great group of friends that forgive me for my transient lifestyle, maximize on the time I do have when I'm around, and encourage me on as I begin my next adventure.


#2: My international students: Where can my love for Karaoke and Dance Dance Revolution thrive...among the international student population! I love teaching, but more than that, I love what they give back to me in cultural understanding.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Southern California: 5 to 3

#3: My ELI friends. The above picture is of Liz and Zack, who used to teach in Hanoi. Southern California has become the home of others who taught with ELI in Vietnam and China, such as Peter, Amy, Jack, Jason, Lisa, Jamaica, and Brian...with our honarary guest, Mike.
#4: Our weekly coffee nights. When I first came to CA last year, a time was set to meet friends for coffee each week. We began meeting at a coffee shop in between LA and Orange County so that my friends from Pasadena and Azusa could meet up with the rest of us from Orange County. It was a source of community and I missed it when I went back to Vietnam. During these few weeks that I have been here, the tradition has been re-established and so I have been refreshed by their friendship.
#5: Diversity. With my love of Asia and South America, Southern California is a great blend of both.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Southern California: 10 to 6

#6: Co-workers at Hope. I have a great sense of community with my friends at work. I’ve missed them and it has been so good to catch up. They continue to be a great encouragement.
#7: Farmer’s Markets and Fruit Trees. When you can just pick fresh oranges and lemons off of your tree, it makes life seem so much simpler.
#8: Granny’s Beach House in Laguna. Lisa’s grandma has a beach house that we frequented when I lived here and are presently taking advantage of. There is nothing like falling asleep to the sound of waves and being able to step off your porch and walk along the beach.
#9: The Outdoor Activities. You have the beach to the west and the mountains to the east. I’ll never forget the time I went kayaking with Lisa, Josh, and Katie near Newport Beach. Good times were had by all…it was a time to show off my biceps...as intimidating as they are.

#10: The Weather. You got to love being able to eat lunch outside on a January day, soaking up the sun and enjoying 80 degree weather.

My two weeks in Colorado have been busy…or rather, full. I differentiate between busy and full because though these weeks have been packed with seeing family and friends, I’m not leaving drained but filled. Alfred Tennyson said, “I am a part of all that I have met.” My family, friends, students, and even the people that have come into my life for a brief period of time, continue to shape who I am and expand my outlook on the world.

On a less serious note…below are some pictures of family and friends. Some probably need explanations, but I’ll just let you use your imaginations.

Monte

My youngest brother, Monte, just turned 14 years old. Though I would love to think that I have attained the "coolness" factor by just being me, I know that I have to work harder at it...especially because I have always lived so far away. So for his birthday, he stayed with me in the Boulder area for a few days and I took him to a Denver Nuggets game. We had a great time and I even learned a few things about basketball!

Les Runaways

“My mama says, ‘Sing the blues child, sing it from now on.’” (Koko Taylor—I’m a Woman) Well, my mama may not be black or know much about the blues, but she thinks I have some soul.

My band (Les Runaways) had its first gig…the place was packed and the energy high. Our drummer is from Australia and I’m convinced that he contacted half of Australia as the whole back room was filled with Australians who had received word about the live band. Most of the crowd consisted of foreigners with the exception of some of my friends and students who represented the Vietnamese population.

We had a great time and I’m looking forward to future opportunities. I have never seen that bar so packed as it was the night that we played. We have 5 people in the band: Mike (Canada/guitar), Matt (USA/guitar), Pierre (France/bass), and Nick (Australia/drums). As we don’t have much competition in Hanoi, we might just make a name for ourselves.

I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane…Again

It was a bit crazy as I wrapped things up in Hanoi this past week. A lot happened. Even though I’ll be returning in about 6 weeks after a Christmas break and meetings in the States, my students have been treating me as if they will never see me again and that they just might not have enough strength to get through it. They threw parties for me and sent endless text messages and emails. They fail to see that I’m the lucky one in that I’m blessed by having the chance to be part of their lives.

I need this break, though. I’m looking forward to being with my friends and family. I’m currently in Korea but will be leaving on a plane this afternoon for Colorado via California. It is snowing outside! It is beautiful!

A Shopper's Paradise

I recently returned from a business trip to Thailand. I really enjoy Thailand, but I have to admit that I wish that I didn't have to do all my travel by myself. Of course I always have the knack of meeting random people, but it is better to hang out with people that know you well and that you can laugh at your experiences or yourself at later. However, I did get to meet up with some people in Bangkok, which made my trip a lot of fun. I was able to see an old college friend and his wife (Lonnie and Courtney) who I went to Ozark with and who have been living in Thailand for almost two years. It was very uplifting to be able to hear about the past 4-5 years and the road that they have traveled. I also had a friend from Hanoi, Scot, who met up with me in Bangkok for the weekend. That was fun because we were able to do some shopping and enjoy some good food.

Bangkok is known for many things...but one of them is shopping. I have never seen so many shopping malls in such a small space. It is insane! So you may ask what did I acquire on my shopping frenzy? Other than my very cool Nazi Germany motorbike helmet (which now everyone in Hanoi wants), I passed the Louis Vuitton, Prada, and Dior shops and heading right over to the department store to buy a rice cooker. I'm the biggest dork ever, but I needed one and it was there calling my name. We all know that there is nothing more fashionable than a woman heating up rice in a rice cooker...forget the fancy leather bags and name brand clothing...its making rice that turns up the heat here in Vietnam.

A Trip to the Homeland

Many of my Vietnamese friends in Hanoi ask, “Why do you want go to Quy Nhon? It is poor and boring!” Maybe for some, but this city has defined me a great deal and has captured my heart. I look back on my two years there and cannot help but smile and laugh. I have so many fond memories with my students and colleagues in the university. They will be forever part of me and hold a very special place in my heart. I cannot express how it felt to walk back into an old classroom and see the faces of students who are more than just participants of an English class I once taught but are a significant part of journey marking who I once was and who I have become. I can say that I know the students and teachers well because they allowed me access into their lives and I know a part of me will always be with them. Now that is an investment that money can’t buy.

Halloween

Bobbing for apples, rolling one another up in toilet paper, and carving pumpkins are all the rave in Hanoi. I had organized a party last year and as soon as my Vietnamese friends knew that I’d be back in Hanoi for the holiday, they began expressing their dire need for another party. Well, I love hosting parties and this just provided me another opportunity to introduce some of my students to other native speakers while enjoying the benefits of getting a group of people together. Since I have about 130 students, I chose about 5 students from each of my four classes who had come prepared for class…which is a rare occasion and must be celebrated. The night was nothing less than a hit as I watched even my expat friends diving in for the apples, which were half bitten into by students who had been unsuccessful.

A Ceremony for the Honor Students

A Blood Drinkin', Honda Dream Drivin' Diva

The weather in Hanoi is cooling off, providing a remedy to the common ailment faced by many of us here… “chronic sweating.” Other big news is that I’m now working the streets…not like you may think…but as I maneuver my way through the crowded-no-rules-I’m-lucky-if-I-survive traffic. I have a motorbike (the infamous Honda Dream) and I’m as bad as ever. I love it because it allows me more freedom and is always a source of adventure. I received one of the best compliments from the Dean of the English department the other day, who said, “You are like one of us and I love it because we can take you everywhere we go.” This was said after I ate blood pudding, which came after the boiled duck that you eat with the skin and tendons attached. Being the only foreign teacher at the university, I’m invited to about every eating event and because I want to show respect and bridge the cultural gaps, I have “immersed” myself into each experience. My steam is running out a bit but I feel like I have crossed over many cultural barriers and am now seen as truly part of their community. As many of you know, I’m now singing for an expat band with 4 guys who are from the States, Canada, France, and Australia. I’ve been doing some low-key stuff with one of the guitarists at a small tavern in the Old French Quarter of Hanoi on Saturday nights. The audience? Mostly older men from the UK who are regulars at this little pub. The fun times just keep on coming!

Do Men Hate Their Wives In America?

As a young, female in Vietnam, I have found it to be quite interesting. I'm usually in the company of men...on occassion with a few women who are secretaries or assistants. I'm treated differently then most women in Vietnam, and it is difficult for me to see the fairness in it. It makes me feel strange when my friend Phuong is asked to make me coffee in the morning or take care of minial things for me. I should be doing it for her because of all the kindness she has shown me! Now not all share the same ideas regarding women. Dr. Dan, the Dean that I work with, treats his assistants as an important part of the team.

My life is filled with many special lunch and dinner meetings...the food and brandy wine are never ending. In one meeting, I was asked by a group of men if American husbands hate their wives as husbands in Vietnam do. I didn't know how to answer that one exactly. My response was that marriage is difficult in all cultures. Unfortunately, many Westerners resort to divorce as the answer to their problems, making things worse in the end. I realized how easy it is for me to look at another culture and deem things as "unfair" or as a social injustice, all the while my own culture boasts its own.

A Home--A location or a community?

Ngan, is one of my dearest friends. She was a fourth-year student at Quy Nhon University when I taught there 3 years ago. She was my first real friend in Vietnam and was my language tutor and cultural informant those first few months. Ngan and I both moved to Hanoi from Quy Nhon and were able to experience it together. Most people thought she was crazy to move to the North, but I was able to see her develop and thrive in her new surroundings. We only had each other during that time and I have some very sweet memories that I will always hold dear. When I left for the States, she took it the hardest. Friends and family in Vietnam don’t leave each other because the loyalty to stay together is so important. So when she heard that I was coming back, it was something very special for the both of us. She is now working for a Canadian company as an interpreter/secretary, sending home half of her paycheck to her family who lives in a rural area in the South-Central region (about 20 hours by train), and supporting two of her siblings who she invited to live with her in Hanoi to go to university. She is an amazing person. Last weekend, I went to her house for dinner. It was so exciting to see her have a place of her own (rented, of course)…though it is only a bedroom, shared by three, and a little cement square of a kitchen, it is more of a home than many places I’ve been. I enjoyed dinner (a 6 hour event) and the company of Ngan, her sister, brother, and boyfriend. We laughed, ate, and enjoyed being together. Now that is living a life of meaning.